A government warning on the perils of badly cooked chlorinated Coronation chicken has been issued with effect from today and relates to those forms in which this legendary dish is being prepared, whether it is on a plate or in a sandwich, using imported chicken from the USA and without the full, correct ingredients.

A spokesman from the Foulness biological experimentation station stated that ‘it is of increasing concern that, even with chlorinated specimens and failing the implementation of the correct amount of flaked almonds and raisins, the dish may prove to be inedible and may cause gastric complications. We are particularly concerned that crème fraiche and dried apricots are being omitted from the chicken’s preparation much to her Majesty’s government’s unease.”

The dish which, when correctly cooked, produces a warm flutter in the stomach was originally created by Constance Spry, one of Britain’s best-known food writers and flower arrangers, for the Queen’s coronation banquet in 1953.

The Metropolitan Police are considering fines should one’s chicken not fulfill expectations. Door-to-door inspections may even be started later this week. If one is a vegetarian  then it will be necessary to fill in the appropriate self-certified form for authentification.  The use of drones has not been precluded although the RSPCA has protested about their use near chicken coops.

There will be daily broadcast radio and television updates on the coronation chicken situation.

Here is my preferred recipe for Coronation Chicken: (Courtesy of Felicity Cloake of ‘The Guardian’)

Serves 6

1 chicken
1 cinnamon stick
5 black peppercorns
Pinch of saffron
1 tsp. salt
4cm piece of fresh ginger
Bay leaf
5 tbsp. good quality mango chutney

50g ready-to-eat dried apricots, finely chopped
2 tbsp. good curry powder
2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
200ml mayonnaise
200ml Greek yoghurt
50g flaked almonds, toasted
Small bunch fresh coriander, chopped
Green salad and basmati rice, to serve

1. Put the chicken, breast-side up, in a large pan along with the cinnamon, peppercorns, saffron, salt, the bay leaf and half of the ginger and fill with cold water until only the top of the breast is exposed. Cover with a lid and bring to a simmer, then turn down the heat so only the occasional bubble rises to the surface. Cook gently for about one and a half hours until the juices run clear. Take out of the pan and set aside to cool, and then remove the meat in bite-sized pieces while lukewarm. Finely chop the rest of the ginger.
2. Put the mango chutney and apricots into a large bowl. Toast the curry powder in a dry frying pan until fragrant, then add the chopped ginger and stir both into the bowl, followed by the Worcestershire sauce, then the mayonnaise and yoghurt.
3. Once the chicken is cold, fold it through the dressing and refrigerate for at least a couple of hours before folding through most of the coriander and serving topped with the almonds, with a green salad and basmati rice.

PS Thanks to Alexandra Cipriani Pettitt for suggesting this theme to me.